Concerning This Newspaper
About The Garlic Times
A proudly satirical publication dedicated to the world's most pungent news, commentary, and culinary chaos — all with a wink and a generous sprinkle of garlic. We take the world seriously enough to make fun of it.
If you're offended…
We're sorry to see you go — truly. Satire isn't for everyone, and that's okay.
If you don't like garlic…
We strongly recommend trying onions. They're basically garlic's louder cousin, and we love them too.
What we are (and aren't)
We are not affiliated with The Onion, though we admire their work from a respectful, aromatic distance.
We are part of the Vegetable Publishing Network, a loose coalition of produce-forward media outlets. Despite the name, we are neither vegetarian nor vegan — we welcome collaborations with meat-based networks, protein syndicates, and any publication that appreciates a good sauté.
A note on privacy
If you subscribe, we use your email address for one thing only: sending you The Garlic Times. We never sell it, rent it, or run it through the garlic press. Unsubscribe at any hour — every edition carries a link — and we part as friends.